This is nice.
This is also pretty cool.
Oh okay this is my favorite.
someone explain to me 72 hour protection deodorants and antiperspirants.
If you bathe everyday, that like defeats the whole purpose right??
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[opens treasure chest & it’s full of treasure]
Friend: what is it?
Me [slowly closing chest]: spiders
Cop: Know why I stopped u?
“To compliment my hair?”
Cop: [looking down moving toe around in the dirt] Maaaaybe.
From what I can piece together, this Pitbull character enjoys “partying”
“Haha, Imagine Dragons. What a dumb band name.”
-Neutral Milk Hotel fans
me: if you drink this coffee you’re gonna get jittery and anxious and you’re gonna feel sick later.
my brain: good bean juice taste like chocolate make me go fast
If the couch is barking, you’re sitting on the dog.
a gaggle of geese, a murder of crows, a genocide of seagulls, a holocaust of toucans
Caught an epiisode of “American Ninja Warrior” and I’m thinking if I put my mind to it and train really hard I could be in that studio audience.
Beer makes me less afraid of clowns.