@caithuls: Someone put the toilet paper roll on backwards and I’m furious and also I live alone
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@Dani_Feld: Relationship status: I just found a piece of chicken in my hair. I ate it. Then looked for more.
@omgthatspunny: Atheists don't solve exponential equations because they don't believe in higher powers.
@pleatedjeans: Interviewer: I don't see a phone # for your reference Me: he is a duck I feed bread to at the park you will have to speak to him directly