@fraservalleyjay: Sometimes for fun I like to pick up hitchhikers. When they open the door I say "Hey! Sorry I'm late."
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@aka_fatman: Sure, your carpenter could turn water into wine, Father. Now let ME tell you about a plumber who can increase his size by eating mushrooms.
@FrogAvalanche: "Wheres the goddamn pizzas?" Me: Check the pizza tracker. *bends down, touches ground* "A pizza will walk here before the moon is full."
@CopBroughtPizza: [car dealership] "it's just like walking, except now you have to move your mass AND this 2,000lb vehicle." fred flintstone: i'll take it!
@AndyAsAdjective: *pauses Airwolf on the VCR* *sets wine cooler down on the coffee table* *turns to her* ME: what do you mean this isn't working out?