“I have found our arguments quite useful – almost as useful as those I had with my father.” – Spock and the guy I end up marrying.
Sometimes I dance on my bed half naked & sing into my hairbrush…. and other days… I take my medication.
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I was told that exercise helps with your decision making. It’s true. After going to the gym earlier I’ve decided I’m never going again.
Afghanistan is just a regular ghanistan that’s ghanistan af.
My son just told me he’s changing his clock to military time so he can stay up later. He is not a smart boy.
*slips seductively out of shorts*
You know what that means…
*sleeps soundly for 7 hours*
*drools a little*
me: *gets down on one knee* will you help me make this tree house into a tree home?
girlfriend : *shouts from the ground* I can’t hear you, why can’t I just come up there?
me: no girls allowed
Remember when the biggest problem we faced was Gangnam Style
I like in RPGs when you kill a wild animal and it has, like, $5 and a spoon on it for some reason
[Homeschool field trip to the laundry room]
Kids: Dad, what IS this place?
Me: I have absolutely no idea
*as girl walks in*
98, 99, *grunts* 100
Uhm, no? Just learning to count.