@dumbbeezie: Sometimes I lay awake at night and ask myself, why don’t I have a hedgehog?
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@bwebster76: Whoa, just saw two FedEx guys pass each other without waving. Wonder what's going on there.
@InternetHippo: GOD: I designed this world with a purpose, why did u change everything PEOPLE: We— [pug walks by] GOD: What…the HELL…is that
@Sickayduh: ME: *angrily dragging wife thru the mall* Maybe THIS jewelry store will have one. HER: I don't think you get what a tornado watch is.