@AndrewChamings: sometimes the people that hurt us the most are the people with nunchucks
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@thenatewolf: ME IN PUBLIC: I don’t believe in ghosts. ME WHEN I’M ALONE AND HEAR ANY CREAK IN THE HOUSE: Pappy?
@DiGiornoPizza: Imagine a world without pizza. No, no, stop crying this was just pretend I'M SORRY TRY AND CONTROL YOURSELF I'M SORRY
@sarcasticmommy4: When I tell my kids I'll do something in a minute, what I'm really saying is, "Please forget."