@SCbchbum: “Son, would you like to go to college some day, or would you like to keep ordering guac? Your choice.”
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@the_mom_dot_com: I just got laid. But don't worry, I was totally thinking about you guys the whole time.
@ehdannyboy: I was running for a bus but I just missed it and had to pretend i didn't want it in the first place so kept running now I'm in Belgium
@djdarrellripley: Her: What are you reading? Me: "Sex and the Single Guy." Her: What's that about? Me: (Pause) Church architecture.
@AnUglyNigga: A horror movie with all black people lmao "Ayo what's going down in ya basement?" "That ain't my business" "I feel ya" *Rolls credits*