Sorry, I’m afraid “Hillbilly Elegy” has 62 holds on it. What that means is 62 other people will need to not read it before you get the chance to check it out and not read it.
You Might Also Like
*Opening presents
1986: Please be a crossbow! Please be a crossbow!
2016: Please be a crossbow! Please be a crossbow!
Her: Wanna make a baby with me?
Dr. Frankenstein: Hell yes.
“And on the 7th day, He rested.”
Yeah, because He didn’t have any kids yet
Alexa: *deep breath*
BREAKING NEWS
Justin Bieber said… And I quote, “Only God can Judge me!”
THIS JUST IN
…Apparently I’m God.
[Job interview]
“Can you explain this gap in your résumé?”
Me: “I fell asleep on the space key.”
Good morning to everyone except idiots who see you eating your fries and still ask “are you going to finish these?”
Why do *I* gotta dress for success? Maybe success could be the one who puts a little more into this relationship
Worst ways to die
1. Burned alive
2. Suffocate
3. Die from frustration teaching your child to blow their nose
Twitter: Where if the chemistry’s good, the geography won’t be..
“I’ll vote for a Democrat when hell freezes over.” — Texas Republicans
“Deal.” — Mother Nature
BREAKING NEWS: 23 injured while running with bulls. Authorities say injuries happened because folks were stupid enough to run… with bulls.
My husband and I are looking for someone to whistle show tunes while we have sex in our hot tub. Serious inquires only, please.
sphinx: answer my riddle correctly or die
me: 27
sphinx: but i haven’t asked the question…
me: [laying my head under her paw] we gonna do this or what?
I blocked some guys and another guy said good job and I blocked him too.
You young couples with your dogs, your trial children, you’ll learn nothing about parenting because you can never teach a toddler to “sit”.
My parents, 2017:
“Put down your phone and hang out with your kids.”My parents, 1989:
“Shhh, not now, we’re watching TV.”
Boss: Why is there an olive in your water?
Me: What water? Oh yeah this, this is definitely water.
“You ruined everything.”
-People exaggerating when you only ruined like one or two things, tops
Attention fat vegans:
Explain.
Sometimes I wonder how air conditioners actually make air colder, bet i could learn online but then i think no mike, best not rock the boat.
Everyone was texting her good morning sunshine, so I texted her “good morning solar eclipse”
Yeah, don’t do that.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
My resolutions are:
1) Stop making any lists.
B) Be more stable.
7) Learn to count.
I’m guessing the best thing about being a zombie is knowing the dance routine to “Thriller”.
If you bring a child into a store and give that child a whistle, just know everyone in there will be a suspect in your murder.
Local News: GREG JOHNSON, 41, ESCAPES BEING EATEN BY BEAR
Bear News: FOOD NAMED GARG RUNS FROM LUNCHTIME
– That last book of yours was faaan-tastic. A naked lady with a talking snake. A kid kills a giant and chops his head off. A flood murders the world! What do you have for the sequel?
– It’s about a pleasant fellow who goes around telling people to be nice.
– Hmm. Not liking it.
Did this writing exercise where you write 300 words about a place without using any adjectives. It’s actually pretty easy if you’re not sure what an adjective is.
M: there are so many castles for sale in France!
H: but you wouldn’t know anyone there
M: that’s the best selling point there is!