Cats are just dogs who’ve been to drama school.
[speaking to a guy who looks nothing like Ed Sheeran]
“Hey man, do people ever say you look like Ed Sheeran?”
“Didn’t think so”
You Might Also Like
Apparently, if you put a possum in the mailbox, you’ll get a new mailman…
So, is Dora 18 yet, or what? Asking for a friend.
Surprised to hear five people were shot at a Chris Brown show, most notably because why were there that many people at a Chris Brown show?
I knew this neighborhood was classy enough for me when I saw there is a “Pregnant Only” parking spot in front of the Liquor store.
*At my future wedding* “Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband”
Me to the groupchat: omg do I say yes or is that desperate
due to unforeseen circumstances i just quit my job as a psychic
Have you heard about the late great actor?
“Wow, he’s dead?”
*Actor strolls in*
Nope, just never on time.
I wish boxing was like wrestling so when the ref was distracted Manny Pacquiao would run in & hit Floyd Mayweather with a Stone Cold Stunner