@FU_TangClan

[spelling bee]

Moderator: your word is sentence

Me: can you use it in a sentence?

Moderator: your word is sentence

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@mostly_cheese

Cleaning up a murder scene shouldn’t count against you at trial. “It proves you were trying to get away with it.” No, it proves I didn’t want a pool of blood in my kitchen.

@catstronomical

My blood type is A+ because I’m the best at everything. Even at having blood.

@TheMichaelRock

*leaves one cupcake in work kitchen*

*watches live version of Hunger Games*

@fillthevacuum

Some people around here retweet like it’s coming out of their booze allowance.

@patnelke

My superpower is turning food and drink into larger pants.

@MandiAtRandom

“Never go to bed angry” is some solid advice if you want to stay up until 3am fighting

@ozzyunc

“As a creative person I’m often asked where I get my ideas.” Yeah. As a creative person you often imagine people doing that but they don’t.