We're redesigning Funny Tweeter. Your feedback is always welcome. Talk to us at @funTweeters
@AnniemuMary: Springtime ants in the kitchen. Go get mother her killing flip flop.
@LurkAtHomeMom: OMG I'M SO OLD AND OUT OF TOUCH WITH POP MUSIC WHAT SONG DOES BREXIT SING
@CynicalCanuck: Am I in the Mile High Club if I jerk off under a blanket on a plane? Just kidding, United doesn't have blankets.
Sorry lady in seat 21B
@taramae72: *Mouth full of pizza*
Boss: I thought you were trying to lose weight?
Me: Waaa? Iths diet peetha.
@YeaThanksObama: I can't believe Obama just sat back and let this happen. #ThanksObama
@Playing_Dad: *consoling friend who is a baker*
I'm really sorry about the fire at your bread shop. Looks like your business is toast now.