Stacy: Come over!
Stacy: My mom isn’t home.
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Me: Yes honey.. I know.. a stroller for the baby. I got it.
Salesman: As I was saying, the largest hamster ball we sell is a-
I haven’t seen Lost, Dexter, or The Walking Dead. But, I HAVE been to Walmart.
Abductor: I have your great granddaughter
LIAM NEESON: I literally died 12 years ago
[Tour of an olive oil factory]
Guide: This is where we squash the olives.
[Tour of a baby oil factory]
Guide: You don’t want to go in there
what do we want???
when do we want it???
PEOPLE VERY RARELY SAY THEY WANT SOMETHING THAT THEY DON’T WANT IMMEDIATELY
Muchacha is my favorite Spanish word that sounds like cows dancing.
Wife: Is dinner ready?
Me: Not yet.
Wife: Are you using the slow cooker?
Me: You could say that