@mattZillaaaa: Starbucks needs a separate line for people who say "um"
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@Becky_DDB: Science tip: you can distinguish an alligator from a crocodile by paying attention to whether the animal sees you later or in a while.
@omgshuddup: Him "I like you" Me: "Meh, give it five days. Him: "No I really like you" Me: "okay. Ten." Narrator * It would, in fact, take 4.
@Merman_Melville: (Someone finally shuts off a car alarm) Philip Glass: (sticks head out of apartment window above) HEY I WAS LISTENING TO THAT
@HatfieldAnne: If anyone needs some trash burned, I have an oil drum and an unsettling expression that might be a smile.