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@holypurgatory: Step 1: Buy a 3D printer.
Step 2: Print a 3D printer.
Step 3: Return the 3D printer.
@Mikecanrant: Make sure that nobody ever invades your personal space by constantly hula hooping wherever you go.
Priest: repeat after me
Groom: after me
P: ... [to bride] is he serious
Bride: no his name is gary
@hamspamtymaam: Never reach into a girl's purse. Anything could be inside, a bear could be in there. You just don't know.
@Parkerlawyer: Just saw a large group of 20 yr olds saying a blessing before eating.
Then I realized they were all just looking at their phones.
@secondofhername: Lawyer: As My Lord knows,...
Judge: Don't presume I know it, counsel.
Lawyer: Beg pardon. *clears throat* As My Lord ought to know...