@SketchesbyBoze

Stephen King: what if there was an *evil* clown

Mary Shelley: what if a corpse came to life

Edgar Allan Poe: oh no a bird!!!

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@QueenofSparta

Do Twitter your way. But don’t mention spiders. Or clowns. Or moist. Or moist clown spiders.

@iamspacegirl

MY DATE WHO IS A SQUID: What movie should we see?
ME, SECRETLY TRYING TO HARVEST HER INK: Something super scary *I empty my popcorn bucket*

@KrunkedRobot

My email password has been hacked. That’s the third time I’ve had to rename the cat.

@notalogin

*I look into abyss*
*Abyss looks at me*
*Abyss blinking message in Morse code*
*I go off to learn Morse*
*I return*
“Why do we park in a dri

@trevso_electric

And on the second day, God created the sunset and He saw that it was good but decided it would looketh better with the Amaro filter.

@BrettDruck

I may seem confident on the outside but deep down on the inside I remember every time I’ve accidentally leaned on a light switch.

@DancesWithTamis

“Hola! I’m Señor Coconut, children”

[cracks head on the pavement. Children scream]

“Drink me. Drink me. I’m full of vitamins and minerals”

@Cryptoterra

The jerk store called. *removes hat* I’m afraid there’s been an accident.

@haileev25

I wanna look like a snack this summer but I keep eating them