You wouldn’t believe me after reading my TL but my 1st language actually is English
Stephen King: what if there was an *evil* clown
Mary Shelley: what if a corpse came to life
Edgar Allan Poe: oh no a bird!!!
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if they go extinct, would they be goodbyenas?
my only crime was caring too much. caring too much about fire
Boss: I’m sorry but you’re fired
Me: But I’ve poured my blood, sweat, & tears into my work!
Boss: Exactly. Cupcake sales are down 75%
me: see that humpback over there? see its blowhole?
me: *nods* that’s where the periscope used to be
ME (Struggling to make conversation): …tell me about a time you worked well as part of a team.
“You’re sure that’s the right word?”
“Like, 80% sure, yeah.”
“Awww. There there.”
*pats you on the face. Hard
How do people in the movies dig 6-foot deep graves with a shovel? I got tired digging a hole to plant a bush
God: you’re my son
Jesus: do I have super powers 😀
God: you can turn water to wine, walk on water, uh bread
Jesus: so who’s my enemy
God: Satan. he has shapeshifting, fire, rock n roll, charm
Jesus: wow that’s cool 🙁
God: oh he’s super duper cool