@IamJackBoot: Stop calling me an amateur. I've been doing this for decades. I'm incompetent.
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@Sorrowscopes: Aries: You will be visited by three ghosts this Christmas. They're all married, so don't even ask.
@fillthevacuum: *died in your arms tonight* *stuffed in your trunk tomorrow* *buried in the woods the day after that*
@Prof_Hinkley: I just accidentally said "I love you" when hanging up with the auto shop guy, so I'm just going to leave my car there and buy a new one
@Eric_Bader: Got laid twice in two days so either I've done something really good or my wife has done something really bad.