*boops you in the nose with a shovel*
summer is the worst time of the year to turn goth what the shit was i thinking
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Why is fried chicken the only food we can buy by the bucket?
Nothing’s more infuriating than opening the in-flight magazine to see the Sudokus already half-done, in the colors of your rival Sudoku gang
*has argument with husband*
*brings up all the dumb shit he said in 2011*
*adds “Historian” to bio*
I see ur bio says ‘Medical Intern’. Can you take a look at this *sends DM of mother-in-laws face* n tell me if it’s infected. It is right?
The adult life I imagined as a child involved less laundry and more group dance numbers.
*at a family reunion, jesus pours a drink and hands it to santa claus*
so, how are we related again?
I’m thinking of a color between 1 and 10. Correct guessers get a lollipop.
ME: [scared] well?
DOCTOR: ur ok
M: so it was just a dream
D: o no ur body is filled with lizards but ur system is accepting them
You look like something I’d draw with my left hand