@iamspacegirl: Sven is short for Sventipede.
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@david8hughes: [stands on other side of glass door & ruffles hair as everyone watches, then enters office] Me: sorry I'm late, I hate this place & everyone here
@isabelzawtun: The local children surround me, trying to build a pyre. I'M NOT A WITCH, I shriek, my witch-like shrieking doing me no favours whatsoever
@KentWGraham: I wish I could be like my cable company’s customer service line and make people press 37 different numbers before they can talk to me.
@TheCiscoKidder: You know you spend too much time with your kids when there's Sesame Street music in your head while mentally undressing women.