It’s as hard to defend Liverpool as it is for Liverpool to defend.
You said NO ambien before dinner at your parents.
Me:*already getting naked* I’m sure it will be fine.
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Gets in shower
Thinks about a tweet
Forgets if washed hair
Gets out of shower
straight people: gay marriage is an embarrassment to marriage!
also straight people:
Look grandma. You told me to bring something to the wake. If you meant a casserole, you should have said so. Now help me load this drum kit.
When I’m home alone and I walk into the basement, I start talking out loud about all the karate I know.
Facebook: People trying to save the world one uneducated post at a time
this is supposed to be an 18 year old
Pillow fights didn’t last as long in the Stone Age.
I need your fingers, rubbing me hard, circling around my red swollen …mosquito bite.
What did YOU think I’m talking about?
Reckless driving, pot allegations and cop visits, Justin Bieber is a bad wig away from being the next Amanda Bynes.