Teen just came out of the dressing room wearing the ugliest top I’ve ever seen so I said ew no to which she answered mom this is literally my shirt that I’ve been wearing all day.
You Might Also Like
Remember to horrify your friends and family by testing out your tweets on Facebook today
She said she was a free spirit. That’s good. Wasn’t sure how I’d pay for a spirit.
doctor: do you have a name picked out?
me: yah it’s St-
wife: we are not naming our daughter starscream
Taco Bell is planning on doubling the ‘meat’ in their ingredients. Unlike Cadbury, they’re informing us in advance.
God: you’re a Squid.
Squid: actually I’m a Kraken.
God: what’s a Kraken?
Squid: nothing what’s a Kraken with you? lol.
God: wa-was that an ocean pun?
Squid: maybe, did you like it : )
God: you krilled it : )
Every Ryan Gosling movie is about what would happen if a really weird guy was also incredibly attractive.
My monster costume for Halloween’s just going to be whispering, “better hope it’s not the poisoned one,” to kids when I hand out candy.
“BUT WE’RE DATING!” the blonde screams, “I’M YOUR GIRLFRIEND.”
“You were” Hefner chuckles. “Now you’re just some bunny that I used to know.”
1993 ‧ Comedy/Romance ‧ 1h 41m
2020/21 ‧ Horror ‧ 10,272days