You can blame those “meddling kids” all you want. But let’s face it. Your entire plan was to dress up like a ghost.
That’s not a tweet.
Alcohol: Yes it is.
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•Woozy woman comes up•
“OMG I’m-I’m gonna faint!”
“Go ahead, knock yourself out”
I’v been catfishing my best friend Dave for the last 3 weeks. He’s gunna pay me that $50 he owes me or I’m showing these emails to his wife.
I carry around a fog machine so I can make a dramatic entrance every time I enter a room.
“That damn Lassie said Timmy fell down a ruffruffruff”
“Relax, honey. I’m sure she means well”
*puts my hand in a popcorn bucket only to notice there’s another hand in there already*
*it’s just my other hand*
Everyone should thank me for not being a doctor.
I’ve got these gifted children and I want to know how long it is before I can re-gift them.