I hope “citibank” is better at math than spelling.
The 5 second rule doesn’t count if you have a 3 second dog.
You Might Also Like
Single and divorced men in their 40’s
prefer women at their own maturity level.
That explains why they date women
half their age.
[overhears guy saying economy is bad]
[later, at family dinner] no trust me, the last thing you want is an economy. those things are so bad
Evelyn says Betty’s Daughter is a lesbian but I’ve never noticed an accent.
Just saw a girl wearing a “BAD GAL” t-shirt so I yelled “NO!” & smacked her on the nose with a rolled up newspaper.
You know that chick who said, “Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels?”…
Yeah, well I ate her.
I never slashed an enemy’s tires, but once I wrote “Your mean” on his dirty back window, misspelling “You’re” just to mess with his head.
Every time I use hand sanitizer I wonder about the 0.1% of bacteria that isn’t killed.
What the hell kind of scary shit is that?
I cannot stop laughing. Bungalow.
Trump’s rhetoric has become even more disturbing and incendiary. Today he claimed “Burger King fries are as good as McDonald’s fries.”