@alyssalimp: The airport is a lawless place. 7am? Drink a beer. Tired? Sleep on the floor. Hungry? Chips now cost $17
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@girlontapas: One of my personalities goes to the grocery store and buys healthy food... Now, I can't find anything to eat in the fridge.
@egg_dog: Joseph: could you put the shopping away, there's a fish & some bread on- oh no *house is overflowing with fish & bread* Jesus: i am so sorry
@cravin4: After 21 years of marriage I thought it would be funny on National Joke Day to tell my wife I wanted to have more kids. She said "ME TOO!" ... Now what do I do?