@SkunkFarts: The American flag should be a picture of a cheeseburger watching TV on a couch made of fries.
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@copymama: Parenting is filled with wonder. Like wondering why your 4yo raced into the kitchen and quietly grabbed a handful of napkins.
@EndhooS: Hedgehogs would seem far less adorable if they had more relevant names like 'Stabbyrabbit' or 'Weaponrat'
@fritterfatboy: Him: can we just go back to how it used to be? Her: awww. Like the day we met? Him: No, before that.
@mattZillaaaa: Poured Tresemmé on a spider in the shower & scooted him down the drain, he reemerged w/ voluminous hair & screamed at me in a French accent