@SkunkFarts: The American flag should be a picture of a cheeseburger watching TV on a couch made of fries.
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@AndrewNadeau0: MY WIFE:We named you after our favorite songs. You were mine LAYLA: I love that ME: And you mine THEME FROM DUCKTALES: No, yeah, I figured
@BoogTweets: (my first day as a transformer) optimus prime: Transformers, roll out! Me:*transforms into hotdog cart* CAN I GET A PUSH HERE
@TheresNoGodzila: *gets on 1 knee* Me: I know we haven't known each other for a long time, but will you marry me? Her: Please get off my knee