@TheAlexP
A rabbit has a father who has a big hair care product empire and wonders if one day his child will become the Hair heir hare.
@E_lok44
The biggest problem with prison is that you can only rearrange your cell in so many ways because of where the toilet is.
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@TheAlexP
@courtneyno
The light above my desk is going out. I feel like I’ve been at a really boring rave for the last 7 hours.
@Kryzazy
If cauliflower can be pizza and zucchini can be noodles then you too can be anything you want.
@Carbosly
If I ever visit Japan, the first thing I’ll do is run through those paper walls pretending I’m the Kool-Aid man.
@petemandik
i got blood on my iphone the other day and before i could wipe it off siri made a slurpy noise and it was gone
@JohnLyonTweets
“I knew he was the murderer when I saw him on the dance floor,” Holmes said. “You see, Watson, guilty feet have got no rhythm.”
@_PerziaN_
Hahaha!
@UnFitz
DIE HARD (1988)
Rated R, 2 hrs. 12 min.
The dead guy from The Sixth Sense throws Snape out of a window. Merry Christmas!
@TheAlexNevil
*bites a radioactive spider
*spider starts tweeting 18 hours a day
@Coops_Bradley
Good luck to the 13 year old girl who is pregnant and wrote “California” for ethnicity on her clinic forms.