Good News: You mean the world to me.
Bad News: The world is pretty lousy right now.
The correct response to “I love you” is “prove it”
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me: ok so imagine if you were a horse—
my sister: bold of you to assume i’m not, but continue
Instructions that say “keep at room temperature” are stupid because they never tell you which room.
I cried during that sad part of Titanic, when Rose threw that beautiful diamond in the ocean.
A movie where two people finally kiss and all their friends cheer in the background because just behind the kissing people two swans are fighting brutally
[cutting through Brazilian jungle]
*finds indigenous village*
Hi, I’m a Prime member.
I’d like to complain that my shipping took three days.
Some days I feel like my life is going super well, & then I get my hair caught in my umbrella.
And also my car door.
I’ve never really found myself “in a pickle,” but it sounds quite jarring.
Yep. I like all the things.
And that, Sandra, is why I would not hesitate to kick a pigeon.
I realize I’m struggling with this phase of my life but in my defense I wasn’t planning on living this long