I wonder if when my dog follows me into the bathroom it’s cause I follow him outside when he goes and he thinks that’s how it works. Meh.
The difference between kids and prison is that in prison they let you read.
You Might Also Like
I’d like to apologize to the lady on the bus. I assumed you wanted your hair held back while you ate your banana.
Someone needs to invent an alarm clock that, if you hit snooze more than three times, will call in sick for you.
my neighbor is SO SWEET she somehow decided all of us neighbors on both sides love wind chimes SO MUCH she bought wind chimes for her backyard
The best natural phenomenon is when a species lovingly accepts an orphan of another species, like how my fries have accepted this onion ring
*1st time at gym*
*picks up weight*
how do i equip this
*steps on treadmill*
can i get exp on here
*taps huge guy*
do you sell mana potions
You’re not allowed to be an eyewitness on the news unless you’re the most confused person at the scene.
If you use karate instead of a knife your wife won’t ask you to cut the vegetables anymore
A lot of women think you have to chose between a career and a family, but I’m here to tell you that you can have neither.
You say kidnapping. I say surprise adoption.
Get in the van.