@aveuaskew: The easiest way to get over someone is with a steamroller.
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@panmidwest: [ping pong] ME: 3 to 2, my serve JESUS: M: can I have the ba- J: the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve M: [exhales] every time
@KeetPotato: GF: "you're so childish" me: "it's my day too linda" [we sit in silence] wedding planner: "so is that a yes or a no on the bouncy castle?"
@WeissBrandon: Me: I'm going bungee jumping Mom: y? Me: my friend John is Mom: so if John jumped off of a bridge, would you? Me: that's what I just told u
@DopeyTweeter: Fight Club: Teaches you how imaginary friends can become more popular than you are.