The five stages of Sunday: depression, anger, bargaining, acceptance, HBO
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My best friend is marrying my husband’s best friend. What could possibly go wrong?
if the second I text you back, you call me because you know I’m holding my phone, I will call the police.
I’m going to give guided tours of my house, pointing out all the things I tried to fix.
“If you love something, set it free…”
Unless it’s a man…
Cause he’ll get lost…
And you know he won’t ask for directions…
*takes call from mom*
*puts mom on speaker*
*cleans entire house*
They should just call the news “guess who was an idiot today.”
My cape keeps getting caught in the wheels of my scooter, so don’t tell me about your problems.
Not a headline I thought I’d ever read.