The five stages of Sunday: depression, anger, bargaining, acceptance, HBO

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My best friend is marrying my husband’s best friend. What could possibly go wrong?


if the second I text you back, you call me because you know I’m holding my phone, I will call the police.


I’m going to give guided tours of my house, pointing out all the things I tried to fix.


“If you love something, set it free…”

Unless it’s a man…

Cause he’ll get lost…

And you know he won’t ask for directions…


*takes call from mom*

*puts mom on speaker*

*cleans entire house*


They should just call the news “guess who was an idiot today.”


My cape keeps getting caught in the wheels of my scooter, so don’t tell me about your problems.