@WyanRilson: The hardest part of potty training my puppy is shitting outside with him so he can learn how to
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@HatfieldAnne: My mother had a cure for slouching. I still flinch when there's movement in my periphery, but I've got posture like a Marine.
@Rollinintheseat: I'm not above army crawling down an aisle at the grocery store to avoid small talk with an acquaintance.
@HaramiParindey: Interviewer : What are your expectations? Me : Job. Interviewer : I mean what do you want from this job? Me : Salary
@lazerdoov: *bursts into starbucks* Me: DO YOU GUYS HAVE A POWER OUTLET Barista: yeah over there Me: oh thank god *plugs in a mechanical bull*