@BassoonJokes: The holidays are coming. If you do NOT want snakes please send me a notarized letter asking for NO SNAKES. Otherwise you are getting snakes.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@KentWGraham: I finally got some me time away from the kids. Two whole hours. It would’ve been longer but my legs went numb crouching behind the dryer.
@juneohara65: Nothing puts me in touch with my mortality like stepping onto a downward escalator.
@ArfMeasures: ME: I'm gonna punch my boss right on the nose PRIEST: you can't tell me about sins in advance
@Love_bug1016: [on a date] him: I hope you’re a Game of Thrones fan. me: *stabs him with a sword then sleeps with his brother*