@emilylime: The more exclamation marks I use, the more I'm lying: Miss you too girl!!! Yea I'd love to go to lunch!!!!! Sorry something came up!!!!!!!!
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@BlindChow: "Daddy, there's a mime under the bed!" That's ridiculous, why would you think that? "Listen!" *complete silence* OH DEAR GOD RUN
@Love_bug1016: What separates the men from the boys is knowing that women love it when they show off their big throbbing manners and intelligence.
@hipchkk: When traveling abroad it's good to learn basic language. "I'd like a beer." "Where's the bathroom?" "I need a taxi." "Just not in my hair."
@causticbob: There are 4 stages in life 1)You believe in Santa Claus 2)You don't believe in Santa Claus 3)You are Santa Claus 4)You look like Santa Claus