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@kristinb5150: the only thing getting in the way of my diet is food
@HeyoShellz: Him: Hi
Me: I bet you say that to all the girls
@Rebecca8672: Awkward=when autocorrect changes 'sooner' to 'sober' so email to 8 yr. old's teacher reads "I apologize for not getting back to you sober"
@ParkerMolloy: Well, humanity. We had a good run.
@Darlainky: Him: I’m drawn to winged creatures.
Me: *bats eyelashes, cocks head, makes duck lips*
@david8hughes: [son hands me a picture he painted]
Me: what's that
Son: it's our house
Me [walks outside with son]: do you see how it absolutely isn't?