@ObscureGent: The only way I’d be invited to a dinner party is to be hunted by rich people for sport.
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@birbigs: Twitter action film: MAN 1: Follow me. MAN 2: On Twitter? MAN 1: No. Physically, follow me. Or you'll be killed. MAN 2: On Twitter?
@Home_Halfway: DATE'S FATHER: What business do you have with my daughter ME: Oh this isn't a work thing, we're gonna watch a movie and smooch all night
@praisecheese: "Archeology is just like search and rescue only everyone's been dead for 5,000 years, so there's no rush"