@Staggfilms: The pens at banks are attached to chains because they turn into werewolves during a full moon and it’s for the town’s protection.
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@TySmithdrums: I bought a spray bottle to break my girlfriend of looking at her phone when I'm speaking. I hide it after use so she doesn't know who did it
@philmann: [me narrating a documentary about narrators] "I can't hear what they're saying cuz I'm talking"
@AnOrangeSNES: I'm like Pac-Man because I travel in the dark to Dippin' Dots stands to eat them, all while getting chased by members of the Ku Klux Klan.