@sock_holliday: The person that invented toilet paper is easily the most under-appreciated hero in human history
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@TheTweetOfGod: I am looking forward to 6pm Thanksgiving Day when Walmart opens its doors for its annual sale of trampled human corpses.
@_steamy_mac: Gonna start wearing exclusively white jeans. With lots of zippers on them. No pockets, just so many zippers.
@SardonicTart: *Queen bee in hive* "You, go pollinate flowers" "You, go make some honey" "You, go buzz around some humans and ruin their picnic lol"
@Irish_Dinosaur: "you should be more serious, sir. this is arson." "no this is MY son!" *tousles his hair* "ha ha ha. so how many houses did the rascal burn"