The pharmacy will look you straight in the eye with no line of people and tell you it will be 20-30 minutes for them to take some eye drops off the shelf behind them and put them in a little bag.

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Hey, Edgar Allen, go ahead and Poe me up another drink! Don’t tell me to be quiet, lady! Why are there so many books in this bar?


“Yep, I’m going to jail.”

When a State Trooper takes the same exit off the highway*


What is love?

You just sang “baby, don’t hurt me.” In your mind didn’t you?



caps lock off


caps lock off

– Mr Miyagi [2014]


Scooby Doo led me to believe there would be a LOT more abandoned amusement parks and old people pretending to be ghosts.

So Disappointed.


[gains weight] ugh clothes don’t fit

[loses weight] ugh clothes don’t fit


*a meeting somewhere*

“Women seem to want pants with pockets.”
Great. Let’s sell ’em all the pockets we can.

“Okay, but just to be clear *pants* with pockets.”
Yes yes, I hear you, Junior. They want pockets.

“No, pants with—”
Wow it’s almost noon. Let’s hit the links.


This day sucked so bad I had to stop by the liquor store on my way to the bar.