The power of art = theory.
The power of power = praxis.
The the of the = philosophy.

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As soon as they heard the flush, my phone interview took a drastic turn.


Drunk is when you feel sophisticated but can’t pronounce it.


I’m calling them Accused Murder Hornets until I hear their side the story.


I just want to be rich enough to donate enough money to have a wing at the mental hospital named after me


‘Worcestershire’ sounds like the most awful shire a Hobbit could possibly live.


“Try it, it’s so good!”
“Come on, man. Just a taste.”
“I’m having some. Mmmm.”
“Trust me.”

Feeding my 2yo makes me feel like a drug dealer.


The city I live in has the highest rate of stalkings in Canada. I told a girl at the grocery store this. Then I told her at the gym.


I’m donating my body to science. I’m getting sick of it taking up space in the freezer.