@PyrBliss: McDonalds wants you to tell your family you love them because if you keep eating McDonalds it won't be long before you're dead.

@FeverFlave: My dad is a legend at hide and seek. One time I needed mom's help to find him. He was hiding at a motel with a strange lady.

@hythemafia: *Food hits floor* Little Germs: "Let's get it!" King Germ: "No!!! We must wait 5 seconds......"

@clichedout: ME: I trained my cat to talk HER: let's see ME: abbreviate Maine CAT: me- ME: what I say when I'm hurt CAT: -ow HER: this sucks ME: just wait CAT: we're just getting started Linda

@TheHyyyype: WAITER: questions about the menu? ME: is it recycled paper? WAITER: no, i meant about what's on it ME: oh. what kind of ink is this?