The three genders.
You Might Also Like
I hope Alan is OK
Remember that time you found out your crush felt the same way? It’s kinda like that, but it’s just me discovering there are still Pringles in this can.
Serious question… Would Titanic have been more romantic if they had both died, but holding hands and floating, like otters?
“Let the bodies hit the floor, let the bodies hit the floor”- John joyfully sings as he walks off with the ‘Caution: wet floor’ sign
I don’t understand Christian heavy metal. Like why are they so angry for Jesus?
Sorry I disappeared from our zoom
I fell off my chair trying to shake a spider off my shoe
My roommate went on a bumble date and was nervous so decided to pound shots in her car once she got to the place they were meeting and the guy was parked next to her and watched her chug vodka for 5 minutes.
Dating is rough.
[starts chanting in unison]
In Unison! In Unison! In Unison!
Government Official: I don’t know what he wants, all I know is I don’t like it.
My husband is working from home and he’s still late.
I just hit my toe and it was at that moment I realized I spoke 4 different languages
I took one of those DNA tests and found out I am 30% mashed potatoes.
Sorry I called you “sexy” and didn’t really mean it, but I was hungry and you were a mirage of pizza.
Someone called me a “complete piece of crap” today and I smiled and thanked them. If I am going to be a piece of crap, I would rather be a complete piece than an incomplete piece. I mean, I’m a go-getter. An all or nothing type of gal.
Oh, the Queen can move in any direction?
Let’s see her walk backward.
Now diagonally.
Cha-cha real smooth.
Been coming here every day for six years and I’m starting to lose hope.
Met a guy from Iraq today who grew a full beard as I was meeting him.
*hiding recipes behind back* man I really misunderstood this swap party
*birds dress Cinderella for school*
*gets to school, goes into bathroom*
*buncha rabid squirrels gather and re-dress her in goth shit*
Him: What’s this? *slowly unwrapping my gift* A blanket?
Me: It’s a sweater that fits two people so we can always be toge-
Him: *running away*
Me: HEY WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!
Where do cicadas go when they’re not screaming? I’d like to go there and scream.
Just shattered the neighbour’s window trying to separate two frozen burger patties with a butter knife.
I know a bunch of guys who are like Christian Grey but without the money and the handsomeness. They’re in jail.
Why aren’t these people with Ebola doing the ice bucket challenge? Don’t they want to get better?
Kid at the park just told me it’s her birthday today. I asked her how old she is and she said five and a half. Story absolutely crumbling
my mom: you still coming over today?
me: definitely
mom: great I have a few things from IKEA for you to put tog—
me: i cant make it
[Watching boxing]
Sure bro, I watch boxing all the ti- HEY DID YOU SEE WHAT HE JUST DID?! HE JUST PUNCHED THAT GUY! SOMEONE CALL THE COPS!
Package delivery vans should play music when they’re driving through a neighborhood like ice cream trucks do
Guy at door: How would you like to make a donation to our local orphanage?
Dad: yea sure [yells up to me] son, you live with this guy now!
this morning i found a spider trapped in its own web and i was like, dude, same
[spelling bee]
“your word is… death”
can you use it in a sentence?
“in most states, yes”