Them: I’m so sorry!

Me: *checking that their concrete boots have set* It’s all water under the bridge.

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Me: Why are you upset?
Me: Was it the Donald-
Her: Yes, it was the Donald Duck voice.


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Husband: I said I would do it

Me: *being dragged to the basement by an invisible force* JUST PUT IT AWAAAAAAY

Husband: omg, you don’t have to nag