@helenrclarkson: There is a drunk woman on the tube throwing After Eights at everyone and, in the most British way possible, everyone is pretending they aren’t being hit on the head by tiny chocolatey squares (which hurts by the way) and not looking at anyone else in the eye.
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@Book_Krazy: Me: I'll take 'Marriage' for 800 Alex Alex: Having one wife too many Me: What is bigamy Alex: Nooo. We were looking for, what is monogamy
@SJSchauer: Mom: if your friends jumped off a bridge, would you jump too? Me, friendless: rub it in a little more, Judy
@HousewifeOfHell: My son was so excited to get a text from his beloved mama, he responded only eight hours later with a heartfelt “aight.”
@cambuslad: Today Mother phoned asked me what I was doing . I said I was on Google maps and looking at her house .She asked if I could see her waving .