There is far less use of the pogo stick as a mode of transportation than I imagined when I was 10.
You Might Also Like
Leo: Your natural selfishness will play to your advantage today when you spot a donut in the hands of a child you could easily overpower.
Potential serial killer in Stockton, CA. Be on the look out in the Stockton area and in California as a whole. Watch this video to see what we know! Important!! But also watch this ad first
What do you mean normal people don’t remove their pants to eat dinner
My husband won’t stop playing Call of Duty on his phone… with his friends… with no headphones. I would like to request one murder hornet please.
Warning to ppl who drink & drive, yday while driving, frnd took his arm out to indicate right turn & someone took his beer.
Rascals! #txt
Ugh my boyfriend’s all “Stop asking my Dad if he likes your underoos” and “Stop snap-chatting my Mom” and “Stop calling me your boyfriend”
Wife: You’ve been a naughty boy
Me: Yes I have!
Wife: You need to be punished *takes off clothes*
Me: Yes, I do!
Wife: Do the laundry
Fair warning: If you’re one of those parents who allow their kids to run around in a restaurant, I’m gonna teach them cuss words.
Just found out this city has an indoor trampoline place and I just figured out where my next medical bill is coming from
Just heard a coworker say “yeah they’re trying to live bicuriously through their children”
Her: Let’s just drop it.
Me: Fine.
Her:
Me:
Her: I just find it funny how…
Me: *opens car door and shoulder rolls out into traffic*
🤦🏻♀️😂😂
So, apparently, avid cyclists don’t like it when you call them “pedalphiles.”
The most unbelievable thing about Die Hard is that the office Christmas Party is happening on Christmas Eve.
Been in line for hours and I’m beginning to think this Radio Shack isn’t going to open.
Whenever I’m at home drinking alone with my dog, I tell people I’m drinking with my dawg, so it sounds like I’m drinking with my cool friend
Just saw The Martian. If Matt Damon was alone on Mars, who was filming him that whole time? Clearly fake
Waking up has backfired on me so many times
cop: you have one phone call
me: [dials 911] get me outta here
Thought for the day:
Shouldn’t you really have more than one thought each day?
I spelled my name wrong in an email about a job opening. My name. Wrong. But definitely very detail oriented and works well independently.
4 can finally say the letter l. However, he has over corrected and started randomly replacing letters with ls. It’s lucking conlusing.
Being goth is hard. The curse on your boss is not working. Ravens are impossible to train. Deodorant marks on your black clothes. Ugh.
[funeral]
He looks so natural.
Ya, but he looks a little stiff.
*raises from the dead*
“That’s what… *gargle* …she said.”
*dies again*
Waiter: don’t touch the plate, it’s extremely hot
Me: ok
My Brain: we are 100% going to touch that plate
Me: ok
The size of the gates in Jurassic Park suggests they were always planning on letting the dinosaurs out.
I offered to split the check but my date insisted we go old fashion and fight to the death.
Kid #1: “I’m scared of monsters.”
*spend 45 minutes hugging & comforting child*
Kid #6:”I’m scared of monsters.”
Me: “Eh, the cat’ll get them. G’night!”