@sameblacklist: There should be an eBay for evil people so they can purchase evil people stuff without having their motives questioned.
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@NakedHangover: Yelling "shotgun" when getting in a car means a seat in the front. Yelling it before getting on a plane means a seat in the TSA office.
@amazymay72x: Me: Cleaning the basement. 12yo boy: Let me know if u need help. 13yo girl: Let me know when you're done. Yep...throwing out HER crap.
@kv8: Must suck to see your ex getting married. I wouldn't know, all mine have died in mysterious fiery car crashes.
@StarksWeek: "Holy shit, that guy eats a lot of pizza" -people that walk by my house on recycling day.