I’m like a Rubik’s Cube. Seems fun at first but eventually you’ll want to rip me apart.
There was a fire at the Yankee Candle store. 8 killed. 19 injured. 1200 soothed.
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Teacher: you failed your spelling test, all your words are missing a t
Dracula: *pulling out doctor’s note* oh you mean the little cross?
Show me your nuts.
Show me you’re nuts.
See how important the “you’re” “your” thing is?
I really don’t get Astrology but I just hope my daughter stays a Virgo until she’s at least 18.
Faces YOU Make ON The Toilet lol (o_o) (>_<) (0_0) (^_^)
I like eating Nerds because I’m secretly hungry for aquarium gravel and this takes the edge off.
Health Tip: If you add a raisin to your 1-pound bag of M&M’s it becomes Trail Mix and you can eat the whole thing.
[cute girl slides me note]
Do you like me? Yes or No
[I slide note back]
Are you a robot? Circle all the traffic lights
NARRATOR: When camping be wary of savage bears trying to take your food
*camera pans to a bear holding glass of wine with a wtf expression
DOCTOR [hitting me with his car] This is for not eating that apple