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@SteveSuckington: "There's approximately a 50% chance there will be weather today."
@MavenofHonor: [during lull in conversation] maybe people who say the earth is flat are thinking of maps
@iowahawkblog: I'd watch more Olympic figure skating if they had defense
@BoozeWallet: MOM: always open the door for a lady
[later on date]
ME: Let me get that for you [reaching under stall door for lock] please stop screaming
@Be___Dope: Me: Sometimes I don't get Jo's tweets.
Marta: Maybe you're not high enough?
Me: * climbs tree
@Dawn_M_: Just once I'd like the guy hired to kill me to complete the job and not fall in love with me.