@garrettbarry70: There's nothing more exciting than waking up with a half eaten burger in your hand.
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@Book_Krazy: [arrives at sales meeting with giraffe I bought last month] "Ok, did everyone bring a graph tracking your activity this month?" ME: uh oh
@bourgeoisalien: [overheard in my son's room] His friend: You're Greek. Do Greeks have a 4th of July? My son: Yes. We also have a 3rd and 5th of July.
@Contwixt: Good news: It works the other way around. I entered "internal bleeding" & "unconscious" in WebMD and it said I have a stuffy nose. Phew.