I’m always two drinks away from digging up my backyard to look for dinosaur bones
They tried it standing up, sitting down and bent over the kitchen table but it was no good – they just couldn’t get a decent wi-fi signal.
You Might Also Like
*aircrafts dropping from the sky
Me scrolling phone: Where was that alien invader gif?
*sees any 3 stars in a row*
“that’s orion’s belt”
I trapped a ghost in my cooler to keep my beer cold.
teen drug use & sex are down this year which proves that teens are boring
Gym memberships are for people who don’t have toddler toys all over the house to pick up.
Somebody Cadbury Cream egged our house last night. I’d be upset, but I’ve been too busy licking off the bricks.
[being carried out of the zoo on a stretcher] not all hyenas are scared of the name Mufasa, I know this now
An octopus is very cool because if Snow White and the Seven Dwarves were drowning, it would have enough tentacles to save all of them.
I just ruined my 5 year olds’ entire life by using the wrong shade of yellow for the sun