@NicestHippo: Thinking is hard, that's why I appreciate websites telling me in advance how I will feel about the article
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@hippieswordfish: *pretends to throw a ball and my dog chases after it* haha idiot *checks email* holy shit i won a million dollars??
@mindflakes: People often ask me if there's a good reason why I'm sitting in their birdbath, but there almost never is
@StephJoLanders: Michael Phelps really inspired me. No, I am not training to be an Olympic swimmer but I am consuming 8,000 calories per day just in case.
@noog: Hand 2 toddlers a poisoned cookie and tell them not to eat it, then leave for a day. Some would call that stupid. The Bible calls it Genesis