@idkkiana

This white lady just whispered to her husband “there’s so many Asian people”… ma’m this is a flight to Japan

You Might Also Like

@Marlebean

Its crucial to teach your kids life lessons at home each day
Today’s lesson is: If you like your life DO NOT WAKE MOMMY UP AT 6AM EVER AGAIN

@amhw

If anyone asks, we met at a bible study.

@NourHadidi

Last weekend, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie tied the knot in a small intimiate ceremony attended by 20 of their closest children.

@Rlpihl

u guys like coachella? u know who else was in a desert with people who didn’t shower? Moses. hi i’m your new youth pastor Keith

@Sickayduh

At 14 I asked my dad about a tattoo. He said ok as long as I got it someplace that doesn’t matter. So I got it in Detroit.

@MichaelTrying

When a store says “trusted since 1982” I just wonder what shady shit they were up to in 1981.

@UncleDuke1969

Psychiatrist: You saw a doctor before me?
Me: Yes.
Psychiatrist: What was their diagnosis?
Me: ???????? ??????????? ????????
Psychiatrist: Excuse me?
Me: HE SAID MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER.

@junejuly12

Hearing them call a 25 year old hockey player a ‘veteran’ and a 28 year old player ‘old’ has done zilch for my self esteem today

@drankturpentine

ILLUMINATI: *drinks chicken noodle soup and gets a good night’s rest*
WELLUMINATI: I’m feeling much better